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The Woman They Loved
Eleanor Roosevelt (wikipedia) They disagreed about most everything. The right food to feed a baby. The best card game. How much a woman ought to weigh and whether or not she should wear a whalebone...
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Tell Us a Story about Love
Will I always remember your laughter? Will I remember the dancing? Will you visit in dreams? We met in a motorcycle shop. I was in love, but you were afraid. We grilled sandwiches, Drank wine,...
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Carried To Safety When Vertigo Knocked Me Down
Anthony getting ready to play “I want to hear Anthony play music, too,” I say to my son David who is visiting from North Carolina. Anthony is his younger brother who used to dj in CA but now lives a...
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The Gift of Community
EllaMay’s 80th birthday (photo by Vic Mansfield) Walking toward our favorite Chinese restaurant in Ithaca, NY in the late 1960s, we noticed a huge Buddha statue in a dusty storefront. The sign on the...
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Safe and Warm
I wake up to the silence of deafness. It’s 6 am and cool, but there’s warm pressure against my spine. Lying on top of the blankets, Disco stretches her lean body against my back. Almost five years ago,...
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Reaching for a Helping Hand
Anthony and David “No more heroics,” my son Anthony says. His brother David would say the same. “No. More. Heroics.” I hear him. I’ve never been sick like this. I’ve never felt so helpless. Anthony...
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My Grandmother’s Diary Imagined From Stories She Told
Edna, 16 yrs old, graduating from Juliard November 6, 1893 (Chicago) I’m nine years old, and I’m scared. Papa died yesterday. Momma tries to hide her tears, but who will take care of me? Who will pay...
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A Shining Light Breaking Through the Storm
“But you’re bound to lose If you let the blues get you scared to feel And I feel like I’m just being born Like a shiny light breaking in a storm There are so many reasons why I love him” Joni Mitchell,...
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Divine Mother of Breath
Vic in the forest with friends I groped around in the dark searching for my ringing cell phone. It had to be Vic who was resting downstairs. I turned on a low light and made my way to his side. “What...
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Aging in Place–with Help
On January 7, thick wet snow fell for the first time this winter. I wasn’t worried. I knew my friend and helper Matt had his eye on the weather. When my husband Vic had lymphoma in 2006, he was too...
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At Winter Solstice
A man I’ve known since he was a boy put up his yearly Holiday Star, high in an old Spruce tree near the road. I look forward to this every December. Thank you, Brett Beardslee. In the forest, ferns...
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The Great Pumpkin Contest
In 1981, my husband Vic organized a “friendly” competition. The Ball Diamond Rd. team of close friends who lived a few miles away went vine to pumpkin against our team, the Picnic Area Road team. There...
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Vulnerable in an Unbalanced World
I dislike flying, even though I’ve taken many flights to Europe, Asia, and around the United States. In the last ten years, distorted sound and imbalance from Meniere’s Disease with increasing hearing...
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A Love Gathering
With my sons Anthony and David As the sun moves toward the horizon, seven people sit around a table on my son Anthony’s stone patio—two women, four men, and one white haired crone. Two of the men are...
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Safe Under Ominous Skies
Nikolas Noonan on Unsplash (public) We walk down a dusty road under a green tornado sky. After sharing family Sunday dinner of corn on the cob, fried chicken, deviled eggs, and sliced tomatoes, Grandpa...
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My Forest Is a Graveyard
You won’t find bones or bodies. Instead you’ll find natural stone markers, buried ashes, and feathers. Dried flowers, prayers written on small pieces of paper, and Tibetan prayer flags. Vic died on...
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Dogs Grieve Too
It’s been a month since my old dog Willow died, and I miss her healing presence. The house feels empty without her calm energy, but my young dog Disco grieves, too. She searches for the one who’s...
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Love and Loss with A Soul Animal
“Want to go outside, Willow?” I asked in a gentle voice. She struggled to her feet, stepped forward, and stretched her painful back legs. Her hind knees had ACL surgery when she was young and they...
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My Beloved Sons
The two of you sent a photo from David’s home in North Carolina last week. You’re 52 and 49 now, but the photo reminds me of a 1974 photo of curly headed four-year-old David holding six-month-old...
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Dark Sky Magic and the Planetary Dance
Birth of Venus, Botticelli In late February, my son David who lives in North Carolina sent a text to his brother and me. “Did you see the sky?” he asked, including a cell phone photo of the evening...
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